


Telling of Last Goodbyes

by mgsmurf



Series: The Path Ahead [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 19:41:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6623671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mgsmurf/pseuds/mgsmurf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cersei has been Jaime's lover since they were twelve, more than half his life, more than possibly the rest of it, as things are going. Their love was wrong and flawed. It caused the start of a war and they've now lost much of my family because of it. Still it deserves a proper goodbye between them before his marriage to Brienne. On his marriage day, Jaime can't help but tell her about the night before, his last with Cersei. </p><p>Set after the end of Season 5</p>
            </blockquote>





	Telling of Last Goodbyes

Jaime wondered why he should be so nervous. He never would have been before, before spending a year captured, before his vow to the dead Catelyn Stark he intended to still keep, before losing his hand, before losing his father and two of his children.

“You wanted to see me?” No ser, lord or kingslayer to address him crossed Brienne's lips.

Jaime smirked at her familiarity, and leaned against the small desk in his room in the royal apartments. Today she was to be his bride. Brienne had returned when he'd sent ravens over much of the kingdoms to find her. Somehow he'd convinced Brienne, her father and even impossibly Cersei to allow him to wed her. They needed more Lannister heirs, he needed legitimate heirs, but the truth was the reason he would ask only Brienne to marry him was his trust and love for her.

Brienne strode into the room in her blue riding dress, a bit worst for wear from months riding the kingdoms. As she saw it she'd taken her revenge on Stannis Baratheon instead of protecting Sansa Stark and fulfilling her oath to Lady Catelyn; she had failed again. She paused at his smirk and frowned.

“I mean to keep my maidenhood until the vows,” she stated.

Jaime raised his remaining left hand, palm out in defense. “And I don't mean to deflower you until then. I think I can mange a few more hours of waiting.” Not that desire didn't rise in him at the thought.

He turned away from the blush that rosied her cheeks and lit up her stunning blue eyes. “I have a gift for you.” He lifted the metal breast plate and turned to see her standing beside him.

It was a blue tinged white metal, the sun and moons of the Tarth sigil on its front, a few embedded sapphires as stars in the blue sky beside the moons.

“It's... beautiful.” Brienne reached out a hand to run along it.

“I guessed on the measurements.” Jaime'd insisted it was molded to properly fit what womanly figure she had.

“But by tonight I will be a Lannister.” Brienne frowned.

“A lion you will never be, my Lady.” Jaime lifted it and pressed it up to her chest. It would be a good fit. That on her breast, Oathkeeper at her hip, he couldn't imagine marrying her any other way. “Besides, your heirs have more right to Tarth than mine might have to Casterly Rock. And you'll need something to wear at all those dry court functions, for however long we remain in King's Landing.”

For forever long the Lannisters would still hold the throne before enemies took it from them. Hopefully he could manage to make Tommen enough of a man in the short time he had to at least spare his life come the worst. Enemies all around, winter coming and word from the north getting only worst. Their stay in King's Landing might be rather brief.

Brienne turned the breast plate and held it out to look it over. “Well made.”

“Of course.”

“You would allow me to wear this in court? On my wedding day?”

“What else would you wear?” He shrugged.

“Thank you... Jaime.” Her lips pressed together tightly. “I hear there are still many arrangements... if this is all--”

“It's not.”

Brienne paused.

“I slept with her, last night.” His voice steadier than he thought.

Brienne turned and slumped against the edge of the desk, the breast plate dropped to her side, fisted tight in her hand. “Your...”

“Cersei,” he spoke for her, “yes.”

Brienne's gaze fell to the floor. “You love her still.”

Jaime stepped closer, yet an arms reach away. “I will always love her.” He sighed. “She came to me...” Last night, here, as he had snuck into her own room so many times in the decades at the Red Keep.

He took another step, leaned against the desk beside her. “I haven't said vows to you yet.”

Brienne lifted her eyes at that.

“When I do,” he continued, “I will not break them. You have my honor. Always you have had my honor.”

She started to dip her eyes again. Jaime's right, golden hand was on that side, so he did not cup her cheek with it. Instead his left hand reached out and grabbed her fisted hand on the desk. She looked into her eyes, hers blue and dazzling and ready to tear up.

“She has been my lover since we were twelve, more than half my life, more than possibly the rest of it, as things may go.” He sighed and felt as old as the gray that speckled his hair, the lines on his once handsome face. “Our love was wrong and flawed. She used it and manipulated it. The things I did for her limited affections... weren't honorable. We started a war over our love and I've lost much of my family because of it.”

Brienne remained silent, watching him. He reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand. “She came to me, and asked, and I had not... given myself to you yet. So we made love and we talked and....”

“Love, is that what you talked of?” Brienne's voice cracked.

Jaime shook his head. “No. We talked... about when we were young, the two of us against the world after mother died. We talked about the Mad King and father's quest for the throne. We talked about my sister's waning affections for King Robert, when she returned to my arms. We talked about our children dead and living.” He let out a weary sigh. “We talked about when I was young and golden, arrogant and dishonorable.”

“Not all of you was dishonorable,” Brienne whispered.

“Most of me was. You have made me a better man, Brienne, the man I want to be, and I love you for that.”

“And what of you and her?” Brienne cocked her head away from his hand.

“She already was my past, and I had to say goodbye,” he let out a snort, “in the only way we ever really did anything. We always communicated more by fucking than words.” The last tumbled out and he paused, worried the coarseness would bother Brienne.

She held her head up high though. “Why tell me?” She placed the breast plate upon the desk. The metal glinted in the morning sun from the window.

“Because you, starting today, are my future, the only one I want.” He shrugged. “I owe you the truth.”

She nodded, swallowed, and her lips quivered. “I love you.”

He stood their faces inches apart. “I know. I love you too. I know what it's like to have one's love used,” he whispered against her lips. “I will never do that.”

Brienne nodded. “I know.”

She turned to look at the bed, the bed that would be their wedding bed tonight, where she would give her well kept maidenhood to him. Jaime looked only at Brienne's cheek, the muscles working in her jaw. He tried not to think of Cersei straddling him last night, or her on her knees letting him fuck her from behind, or them laying spent and naked, tangled as the day they entered the world together, of Cersei's tears down her pale cheeks.

“And it's over?” Brienne asked.

Jaime stepped back, let out a wavering sigh. He lifted closed eyes to the ceiling and ran his hand through his graying hair. When he opened his eyes Brienne's focused on him. “It is. I really don't know when it happened, why I didn't realize at the time, but whatever power she held's over me... is gone. Last night was truly the last time, goodbye.” It felt freeing, and incredibly scary to be left un-archored, only him against the world.

Then he looked into Brienne's eyes, saw her love, her trust, and her strength. He rushed forward, hand on her neck, lips on hers. He kissed her until they were both breathless, flushed and lust-filled.

Brienne stepped back. Eyes a little wary.

“Be my other half.” Jamie had always been part of a half, since before birth.

Brienne scoffed. “Is that not what I'm agreeing to tonight? You've tried ever so hard to convince everyone of our joining.”

“No, not my companion, or my wife, or the mother of my children.” Jaime shook his head. “Be my other half.”

“I will never be her.” Brienne frowned.

Jamie shook his head. “I've never ever wanted you to be anything close. It's why I fell in love with you. You are completely opposite everything I thought I ever wanted, yet are everything I ever needed. Let it be just the two of us against political games, the winter, dragons, whatever oldness wakes in the iced north. Whether it's to old age, many children and peace, or to our deaths. Just be by my side, by other and better half.”

Jaime almost twirled in excitement at the thought of this woman, oddly more his equal than Cersei had ever been, ever by his side. When his gaze went back to Brienne she stood away, withdrawn. His smile fell.

“Say something,” he said.

Brienne stood, gathering her thoughts, wordless. Shocked? Ready to leave him in his madness?

“Anything,” he pleaded.

She stepped forward and gripped his head between her hands, rested her forehead on his. She let out a shaky breath and shivered against him. “My love, I never dreamed for as much,” she whispered.

They wrapped themselves in each others arms. Brienne's falling to his shoulders. Jaime's gold hand around her waist and his left cupping her head. He couldn't have ever dreamed for as much either.

“Do we still need vows?” Jaime asked, voice light.

Brienne chuckled in his arms. “Do not tell me this was all a ploy to get me into your bed early?”

Jaime laughed in reply. “Still not working?”

They paused, held each other for how long Jaime didn't care. Nothing but their steady breath sounding.

“So, preparations?” Jaime said when they parted.

Brienne nodded. “The same?” she asked as she picked back up her new breast plate.

Jaime shrugged.

“Until tonight.” Brienne dipped her head and strolled to the door. She paused, hand outreached to the handle, turned to him. “Thank you for telling me.”

“There is nothing I could do but tell you.” He gave a half smile. When did he become so much hers, Brienne so much his? “To the future.”

Brienne nodded. “To another half a lifetime of love.”

He smiled wide at that. “We'll have to toast to that tonight.” Her bright smiled matched his own.


End file.
